Swingers Lifestyle – 6 Powerful Tips For Beginners
Swinging and the swingers lifestyle isn’t a new concept. The only difference between the swingers lifestyle now and a few years ago is that people are more open to talking about it. If you’ve been curious about the swingers lifestyle and would like to explore it with your partner, you’re most likely at the foundation stone of your research (read Googling). Luckily for you, we’ve put together some pointers that explain what the swingers lifestyle is about or what you can expect.
Table of Contents
Clear Your Conscience First
If you’ve had fantasies of your partner (or both of you) having sex with other people, maybe the lifestyle is for you. For some people, getting into the lifestyle comes easily as they have an open view of all relationships and have a partner or lover aligned to that belief.
However, just because we said swingers lifestyle might run in your blood doesn’t mean you jump right into it. Take baby steps first and use them to add a little spice to you and your partner’s sex life without the risk of an affair.
Since you and your partner will both participate in the swingers lifestyle, your conscience should be clear. This will allow you to enjoy the experience with other people minus the blame and jealousy that would grow out of similar incidents. You can do this by:
- Being open and honest about your kinky thoughts to your partner
- Openly communicate your feelings and create a comfortable atmosphere
- Figure out reasons for swinging. It could be to experience the pleasure you get in a shared sexual relationship or to spice up your sexual relationship
- Making sure you’re a healthy couple only looking for pleasure
Getting Into The Swingers Lifestyle
So, how do you get into swingers lifestyle? You can partake as a couple or as a single. However, single women are more in demand than single men. Couples don’t find it hard to find others looking to swap, but you have to know where to look.
Assuming you’re a couple getting into the lifestyle, you will need to be in unison when it comes to tastes. Your preference will dictate the swinging style you partake in, so you will have to reach a compromise many times. Understand the below types of swinging:
- Soft Swinging: perfect for getting into swinging. It only involves stroking, kissing, or nibbling other people. This gives you an introduction to swinging.
- Voyeurism and Exhibitionism: some people usually fantasize about having sex while someone is watching or watching their partner as they have sex with someone else.
- Full Swap: this type of swinging refers to having penetrative sex with people that aren’t your primary partner.
- Threesome: this is why single women are more in demand in the swinging lifestyle than single men. Most couples prefer the third person to be female and use this as a litmus test for whether the lifestyle is for them.
- Bi Swinging: more women than men prefer same-sex swinging. This isn’t to say that all women swingers are expected to do it, but that it’s widespread, especially when there are other forms of swinging like exhibitionism.
- Extreme Swinging: this could cover a myriad of fantasies, including golden showers and BDSM. This type of swinging isn’t so common, and if you choose to partake, ensure you prepare in advance.
The swinging lifestyle includes plenty of options if you’re ready to explore. You can begin with small, local swinger parties, then move to more lavish cruises. Your choice depends on your preferences, budget, and the kind of excitement you’re looking for.
Lay Some Ground Rules
Before you indulge, you and your partner must lay some ground rules. For instance, if you’re attending a swinger event, and one of you would like to leave or doesn’t feel comfortable. You should figure out whether the other should go or stay on well in advance. (Relationship tip – you should both go!)
You can also consider whether you would be comfortable seeing your partner be intimate with someone of the same sex or whether you want to be in the same room while they have sex with someone else. All these things should be something you agree on upfront. Some of the rules you should consider include:
- Consent and permission for everyone, including those you want to swing with
- Boundaries between yourselves and other couples
- Be flexible with your boundaries during swinging because you might change your mind about something
- Communication. You and your partner should be able to talk about anything and everything you want to participate in. Yes, even that gang-bang you’ve been dreaming about.
- Good hygiene is essential
Build Your Confidence
You have to work on your confidence if you intend to enjoy the swingers lifestyle experience. Understandably, other people will be more apt to connect with you if you’re confident and have a great personality, (it’s not always about physical attraction in the swingers lifestyle). Whether you’re looking for a club or online partners, you need to make sure that you display the best of you, so you attract more people and the right ones for you and your partner.
Consider Safe Sex
While no one gets into the swingers lifestyle to pass on STDs/STIs, it can happen. Have a conversation with your partner about different forms of protection and which ones you’re more comfortable with. Even though barrier methods lower your risk of STIs or unplanned pregnancies, nothing is 100% secure. Discuss what you will do if you get a positive STI or pregnancy test. Also plan to test regularly for peace of mind for you and your partner and the safety of future partners as well.
Check-In With Your Partner
Partner check-ins are crucial during and after enjoying a swingers lifestyle encounter. The first time for any beginner can be a little confusing or full of (hopefully) positive emotions. However, you might also feel a little overwhelmed or guilty. In such instances, the best thing to do is to take time with your partner, check in, and reconnect. Discuss the experience, including what felt good, what didn’t, and what changes you’d like to make. You can even go further and seek a sex-positive therapist that understands consensual non-monogamy.
If you want to learn more also be sure to check out our other articles and our recent one on What Is Ethical Non Monogamy