Have You Hit An ENM Dating Slump?

An ENM Dating Slump can and will happen on occasion – heck dating slumps hit everyone regardless of which way they date! If you are currently in an ENM dating slump, have had one in the past or just want to know what to expect before you do hit one keep reading as we dive into what they are and strategies to avoid and/or reduce them. And for the record this author has experienced several ENM dating slumps over the years and not one didn’t end perfectly.

An ENM Dating Slump

Use The ENM Dating Slump For Self Reflection & Improvement

Sometimes when life gives you lemons… You make lemonade!

An ENM dating slump can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. If you find yourself in one it can be a great time to do some inner work to improve your outer perspective. If you are not spending your time dating or at events and parties why not take a self improvement course or try on a new hobby. Both can lead to new connections and someone in the crowd is bound to be ENM from our experience. 

You might also find the down time allows for you to complete projects or reconnect with past connections as well. The key is to use the time wisely and not focus on what you might be missing out on but instead look at all the opportunities the extra time allows you to have.

Know That The ENM Dating Slump Will Pass

All slumps in life pass and so will an ENM dating slump. Keep your focus and try your best not to push for an outcome that will eventually come naturally (natural is always best). Keep being yourself and keep a positive attitude and we are sure the ENM dating slump will pass before you know it. Also make sure to keep yourself busy outside of lifestyle related activities as there is never a good reason to dwell on things and potentially get caught up in more then just a minor ENM dating slump.

Change Your Environment

Einstein once said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” and we don’t want you to go insane so why not change what you are doing and how you are doing it! So how about:

  • If you always go to the same swingers club try a new lifestyle club
  • If you always go to Desire for your lifestyle vacation give a swingers cruise a try
  • If you only use Facebook Groups as an online connection portal jump on a few ENM Dating Apps.

ENM singles and couples are everywhere and if you are in an ENM Dating Slump now is the time to cast your line in a different direction to see what you can catch in the way of new ENM connections.

Be Willing To Try Something New

Being stagnant in anything in life is never a good thing and same goes for ENM experiences and connections. An ENM dating slump is a great time to try something new as it could be your new way of doing things. A few ideas that can help you out when it comes to trying new things:

  • Never been to a bath house – look one up!
  • Have yet to try a kink party, jump online and find one
  • If you have never attended a meet and greet or a munch, check out the local groups and try one on.

Reach Out To ENM Friends

ENM people LOVE to connect so if you have friends from the past why not reach out and say hello! They could be the great connection you need to find a new group of people to connect with or to find out about an event or party. 

Going forward also make sure to keep those lines of communication open so that the likelihood of an ENM dating slump is lessened as you have a larger network to be informed by.

Update Your Online Profile(s)

Online ENM Profiles can become dated quickly so this is something you should consistently check-in with and update as you boundaries, desires and fantasies change. We recently saw someone asking about what makes or breaks an online ENM dating profile and two main things came to mind:

  • Out of date photos
  • Incorrect information

While in an ENM dating slump why not revisit the online dating profiles that you have and freshen them up. New photos, newly found or discovered desires and a fresh bio can be just the start. A fresh bio and profile can also help you get noticed so spend a little time on these sections so that you are conveying who you are and showing yourself at your best. If you are updating your photos go for tasteful and make sure they clearly show who you are and your personality if possible


ENM Dating slumps happen to everyone so do not for a moment think it is something you did if you are experiencing one. Know that you can reduce them, mitigate them and potentially avoid them by keeping things fresh, trying new things and going to new destinations to meet new people.