11 Powerful Tips For Navigating Jealousy And Compersion in ENM
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Jealousy and Compersion – What if we found an easier way to move towards compersion?
The word compersion is loosely defined as the opposite of jealousy. Jealousy and Compersion are basically 180 degrees opposed to each other in most situations. Instead of feeling upset or threatened when your partner romantically or sexually interacts with another person, you feel a sense of happiness for them. You may even get a sense of elation from them having a positive interaction that you know they are enjoying in an ethical non monogamous way.
Here are 11 tips to pull more of the feelings you desire in, and move away from negative ones.
- Be honest with yourself first on how you feel. Take responsibility, own it and don’t deny how you feel by brushing it under the rug. Pull those feelings out and look at them. They are all perfectly natural.
- Don’t make yourself wrong for having feelings.
- Realize that below each feeling is a need and our minds and hearts are simply communicating to us if they feel safe and secure at all times. See them as just that, information. Often we need to return to this step and take the significance out of what we are feeling and simply see it at face value. Nothing more nothing less.
- All feelings are fleeting. They are all coming and going whether we want to savour them or shake them off. Keeping this in mind (at the times) especially when they feel big, it may help tremendously.
- Remember that it’s your birthright to feel safe and secure AND it is possible… but only if you’re willing to dig down a little to see what is, and isn’t there.
- We assess and perceive the world around us through a personal lens. No two people share the same lens. Don’t ask people to mind read or see the world the way you do. Communication is critical in having your partners understand where you’re at.
- You don’t need agreement simply to be heard and respected. Read that again, you don’t need people to agree with your feelings. You simply need to create spaces that invite them to be.
- Creating a safe and vulnerable space invites others to do the same. Be aware that this is a spectrum and takes constant creation to maintain practice. And it begins inside yourself with your own feelings.
- Be sure and speak about the feelings you want to increase, not just the ones you want to work through. What we focus on grows. Keep pulling and welcoming all the feelings you want to lean into.
- Remember that if you’re committed to finding peace and calm and joy and love you’ll find and create that. If you believe that relationships are rocky and unpredictable and hard that’s what you’ll experience. We are living into our beliefs at all times.
- Model your relationships after people you admire, not the people who happened to have relationships around you as you grew up. There are so many people to learn from but first we have to realize that all the examples around us are playing a part in what we see is possible. Seek out inspiration often.
Hopefully these tips will help you with feelings of Jealousy and Compersion in your relationships. We hope you are able to grow as we all wish to do in a positive way!