11 Powerful Tips For Navigating Jealousy And Compersion in ENM

Jealousy and Compersion – As humans we feel so much whether we want to or not. Some of us deep feelers wish we could take a day off of feeling, but alas, we still haven’t found a way to do that. Jealousy is one of those feelings that many humans don’t know how to be with. Rightfully so, many of us were never taught or shown how to ‘jockey’ our feelings which are often like wild horses.

We don’t just try to navigate our own, we try and predict other people’s feelings as well. We simply try to control and change and shift (or deny them) in a way that keeps us feeling stable and grounded; especially when it comes to our feelings about our relationships.

Most negative feelings are often the ones we so desperately like to avoid and they are the hardest ones to dance with. Jealousy and Compersion are especially notable because they tend to hit us hard or make us feel amazing.

The word compersion is loosely defined as the opposite of jealousy. Jealousy and Compersion are basically 180 degrees opposed to each other in most situations. Instead of feeling upset or threatened when your partner romantically or sexually interacts with another person, you feel a sense of happiness for them. You may even get a sense of elation from them having a positive interaction that you know they are enjoying in an ethical non monogamous way.

What if there was a secret to having it all? What if that secret was able to be revealed with simple practice or a deeper understanding of yourself? What could we have available in our lives if we managed emotions better, or more authentically?

With this list for jealousy and compersion you will create more awareness and awareness always brings change by default. Humans have an array of feelings and emotions and none of us can avoid that. How you deal with them will be up to you and only you though, no one can “trigger” you, only you can react. Sure you will have special people in your life that assist you in managing your feelings, but ultimately it comes down to you.

1. Be honest with yourself first on how you feel. Take responsibility, own it and don’t deny how you feel by brushing it under the rug. Pull those feelings out and look at them. They are all perfectly natural.
2. Don’t make yourself wrong for having feelings.
3. Realize that below each feeling is a need and our minds and hearts are simply communicating to us if they feel safe and secure at all times. See them as just that, information. Often we need to return to this step and take the significance out of what we are feeling and simply see it at face value. Nothing more nothing less.
4. All feelings are fleeting. They are all coming and going whether we want to savour them or shake them off. Keeping this in mind (at the times) especially when they feel big, it may help tremendously.
5. Remember that it’s your birthright to feel safe and secure AND it is possible… but only if you’re willing to dig down a little to see what is, and isn’t there.
6. We assess and perceive the world around us through a personal lens. No two people share the same lens. Don’t ask people to mind read or see the world the way you do. Communication is critical in having your partners understand where you’re at.
7. You don’t need agreement simply to be heard and respected. Read that again, you don’t need people to agree with your feelings. You simply need to create spaces that invite them to be.
8. Creating a safe and vulnerable space invites others to do the same. Be aware that this is a spectrum and takes constant creation to maintain practice. And it begins inside yourself with your own feelings.
9. Be sure and speak about the feelings you want to increase, not just the ones you want to work through. What we focus on grows. Keep pulling and welcoming all the feelings you want to lean into.
10. Remember that if you’re committed to finding peace and calm and joy and love you’ll find and create that. If you believe that relationships are rocky and unpredictable and hard that’s what you’ll experience. We are living into our beliefs at all times.
11. Model your relationships after people you admire, not the people who happened to have relationships around you as you grew up. There are so many people to learn from but first we have to realize that all the examples around us are playing a part in what we see is possible. Seek out inspiration often.

Hopefully these tips will help you with feelings of Jealousy and Compersion in your relationships. We hope you are able to grow as we all wish to do in a positive way!

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