What Is A Kink App?

Woman with a wip on a kink app

There are many attributes that can contribute to a platform being called a Kink App. We know from our experience both in building the ITL ENM App and speaking to thousands of sexual enthusiasts that we are all a little kinky when it comes to our playtime.

We feel any kink app that allows people to freely express themselves along with their desires in a non-judgmental way could be considered a kink app. Some apps like ours are meant to grow and learn from what our members say and seek so it stands to reason that is people want it then they will help develop a space that allows people to express themselves and their kinks.

What Does Kink Mean On Dating Apps

Kink on a dating app can mean several things and typically it is unique for each person that leans into kink. As always we suggest an open conversation with a potential connection about what kink means to them and how they wish to explore this via a kink app. Keep in mind that people’s perspectives and meanings for a word can be created by multiple influences so seek clarity early before you go down a rabbit hole you may not be into.

Why Call It Kink?

Many say that Kink and Fetish can be interchanged when it comes to a need to give an alternate play style a label but we think each has its own special meaning. Think of Kink as an umbrella term for a very wide variety of things and niche styles that can lead to a vast amount of exploration. Whereas a fetish is similar to a kink, the difference is that something is a fetish when it MUST be present in order for the person to achieve satisfaction. 

What Types Of Kinks Are There?

We learn about new ones every time we speak to a new person in their ENM journey. The beautiful thing about humans is how creative we are and how willing some of us are to bring our creativity to life. 

Here are 10 most basic kinks, use this list as a starting point to build from:

  1. Feet / Shoes – everyone knows this one as it is usually a topic in movies and sitcoms on TV
  2. Voyerism / Exhibistionism – this could be a considered a fetish too, what do you think?
  3. Tickling – yes some people love it (who are we to judge)
  4. Bondage – we feel this is an art form at times, the intricate knots and patterns, wow!
  5. Role Play – from teacher/student to conqueror to so many other types of role play.
  6. Latex – this shit is HOT (literally) but it also feels amazing… so ya, buy some!
  7. Degradation / Humiliation – not really a fan but we get the power dynamic that is at play with this one
  8. High Risk – public places, chance of getting caught – you better be quick!
  9. Hotwife – oh the stories she can (and typically will) tell!
  10. Dogging – MUCH bigger in the EU / UK than north america but we could see this one really taking off here!  

What Is The Difference Between BDSM And Kink

BDSM is often incorrectly interchanged with kink, the difference being that kink is a broader term and BDSM is a type of kink. If you ask anyone involved in BDSM there is a general sense it is often misunderstood by those that do not have experience in it. Unfortunately in many things ENM people do not have a common understanding of terms and can apply or even imply ones of types of play that do not actually reflect what they are.

Are Fetishes A Type Of Kink?

No, not really but yes, kinda? If you really dig deep into whether or not a fetish is a type of kink the mainstream view is that they are indeed seperate but intertwined at times. For example a type of play or interaction can be a kink if it is not required for a conclusion or gratification, it crosses into the festish realm when if it is not present the dynamic at hand is not enjoyable for one of the participants. IE – if a pair of hot pink panties are not worn the partner can not get aroused.

My Partner is Kinky… And I Like It!

GREAT! Go with it and grow with it! Use the kinkiness of your play time to inspire further exploration and development of your sexual persona. Feel out new kinky desires with meaningful conversations and via inspiration from others.

Make sure to visit your kink app profile often to update your profile as you learn and grow in your sexual awareness.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is Into Kink?

The easiest way we have found is searching for like desires on a kink app. Secondarily asking works to! Don’t be afraid to get into your needs, wants and desires early in a new connection so you can ascertain if moving forward makes sense. 

Do you have a list of requirements (you should) for a potential match? How many kink boxes are on it and do you have a minimum that must be checked before you take that next step?

How Far Is Too Far In Kink?

As long as its safe and CLEAR consent is consistently given by all involved… carry on! We have heard many stories about things that have gone to far or “crossed my comfort zone” and this always comes down to lack of communication and lack of respect for consent. 

Be sure to read our article on consent if you are not clear on what that looks like and how important it is.

Kinky Sex is easier to find than ever and that may not be a good thing

This kinda feels like it is saying our kink app is not an amazing tool designed for you to seek and find your next adventure (which it is)… But here goes!

Part of the fun of ENM, swinging, the lifestyle or whatever you want to label yourself as or what your journey is… is the hunt! Seeking out that like minded individual or group, exploring what makes them tick and then trying that on for yourself… the hunt!

Think of it this way – you meet a person on a kink app that checks every single box you have. You make plans to meet at a local lifestyle club on a kink night. What’s left to explore or seek out while you get to know them? Going in a little blind, to us, is exciting! 

So is easier a good thing? Sure, for some, but for this writer… I still enjoy the hunt and the human interaction it takes to find out if we click!


Like everything ENM and in Ethical Non Monogamy the key is to communicate, seek out information and learn as you grow. Is a kink app or kinky play something that you can add to your list of wants and desires? Possibly, but it is up to you and only you if it is – so play safe!